I'm having sort of the darkest week of my life here. Since Friday night I have been having some of the most incredibly awful pain I've ever had. I can't walk, I can't sit, I'm having a difficult time going to the bathroom, all in all, I can barely function at the moment. I'm having a hard time doing anything on my own and am having to have someone with me constantly...Which is not always working.
Its been hard. I'm feeling incredibly lonely and sad, I'm angry and frustrated...I feel trapped. And I don't know what to do. I went to the hospital on Monday afternoon. I was there for around five hours. They were pretty good to me and had me in a bed within the first hour on account of I could not have sat there for all those hours...Anyways, the doctor told me that she thinks I have a disc protruding from my spine and pushing on a nerve. So, they sent me home with a shot of morphine and some percocets to take until I could get in to see my family doctor. Which was Thursday...So, this morning. He ordered an urgent MRI and gave me some oxycodone and valium to deal with the pain until we can get it. So now I guess we just play the waiting game.
So, I am currently in one of the worst places I've ever been in. I'm depressed and moody, I've been so sad and I just all around don't know what to do (I apologize if I repeat myself or if I don't make much sense...With all the medication I'm on and how strong it is I'm sort of all over the place) I hate everything right now...I feel SO alone. I am by myself all day and at night time when my boyfriend gets home he's tired. My friends are all super busy right now I guess so I haven't seen or spoken to any of them really. I'm thinking of spending some time with my mom. It's the only place I really feel a little bit better. Well, I'll write more later I guess...I'm pretty tired right now. Bye.
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