Fuck sake...

Christ. I know it's been a long time since I've been on here, but I've got nowhere else to go. I've got. NO one who understands what I'm dealing with. My friends have all bailed on me. Which I've been bummed about for a little while now, this is obviously not getting me anywhere. But I do miss them. Ah well. Once you've lived with chronic pain you learn to accept that people who have never lived with it can never accept you. They don't want to deal with someone who is depressed all the time. Especially at the age of 21. Everyone expects that you can go out and do all sorts of things with them, and truth be told you would probably take a human life if it meant that you could again. They choose to ignore you because if you DO manage to get out and do anything with them you try. Not to complain but you can't help it, for fuck sake it HURTS. You have to stop and sit down, or walk in a place like a movie theater and that seems weird.

It is truly heartbreaking that these people who are supposed to care about you can just forget about you.

Anyways... That's all for now I guess...I'm in too much pain to concentrate and my post probably doesn't even make much sense... It's almost 3am and all I want to do is head to the ER because the pain is so bad and all my pain killers have done nothing... Ugh.