Fuck sake...

Christ. I know it's been a long time since I've been on here, but I've got nowhere else to go. I've got. NO one who understands what I'm dealing with. My friends have all bailed on me. Which I've been bummed about for a little while now, this is obviously not getting me anywhere. But I do miss them. Ah well. Once you've lived with chronic pain you learn to accept that people who have never lived with it can never accept you. They don't want to deal with someone who is depressed all the time. Especially at the age of 21. Everyone expects that you can go out and do all sorts of things with them, and truth be told you would probably take a human life if it meant that you could again. They choose to ignore you because if you DO manage to get out and do anything with them you try. Not to complain but you can't help it, for fuck sake it HURTS. You have to stop and sit down, or walk in a place like a movie theater and that seems weird.

It is truly heartbreaking that these people who are supposed to care about you can just forget about you.

Anyways... That's all for now I guess...I'm in too much pain to concentrate and my post probably doesn't even make much sense... It's almost 3am and all I want to do is head to the ER because the pain is so bad and all my pain killers have done nothing... Ugh.

The Reason Why..

Hey everyone, I'm starting up a blog for two reasons; o1)I have searched far and wide on the internet and there is not much, if anything in Calgary as far as support groups go in regard to Chronic pain due to motor vehicle accidents. And o2) It's been two years since my accident, and I have a very hard time talking to my friends and family about all of this. As any of you with chronic pain understand (depending on how long you've been dealing with it, if it's only been a short period of time, you will come to understand it) unless people are living with what you are, they will never understand what you are going through. I don't want to make it sound like I don't have a great family, and an awesome boyfriend, and a few wonderful friends, because I do. But no matter how great they are they will just never get it. For example; I have been living with, for the most part, the exact same amount of pain since my accident. Though it has gotten slightly worse. Bad enough that I have had to start walking with a cane. Hence, making my pain no longer 'ínvisible'...And I am amazed and appalled all at the same time at how differently people are treating me.

Anyways, I just figured I would write a little something because I started the blog yesterday but was having a really bad day for pain and couldn't bring myself to write. Unfortunately, today is as well, another unbearable day for pain..I am going to go try and get some rest.