A Wonderful Weekend Of Withdrawal Symptoms...

How was everyone's weekend? Good I hope! Well, mine was spent shivering with a headache feeling like vomiting. Yes, that's right. My body was going through withdrawal symptoms. To make matters worse, I had a trade show that I had to do. I met a super nice girl and ended up having a great time (with her...Not at the trade show..Man oh man...NEVER AGAIN) even though I felt like dying. So, because I was dealing with this, I clearly had no painkillers to take...I was living on advil...About 8-12 a day. I'm still getting really bad migraines, but I think that's a mix of the new medication and tension headaches. I'm also getting waves of nausea...Again, probably the new meds. Okay, I'm totally off track...Right! So, my weekend was awful! I had a breakdown on Sunday...Not cool. Hopefully the new medication will help with that. My new medication, if you're wondering, is called 'Celexa' Its an anti-depressant. I'm not afraid to admit that yes, I am probably depressed. I've had a ton of symptoms of it and my emotions have been crazy lately. The reason I have no issues admitting it is for one reason, and that reason is this; I am in CONSTANT pain. Every single day of my life. I can't do the things I used to be able to, I've put on a ton of weight, I have problems walking, I have problems standing, I have problems sitting, and altogether life is 10x harder than it used to be. My accident changed me. Completely and totally changed who I am. I used to be a fun, outgoing, active person. And I still am sort of...As much as I can be...But it's hard to be cheery when you're body is always screaming at you. I've stopped doing things, I barely even go to physio anymore. I don't see a point, I will admit, I have lost all hope. It's will be three years on May fourth and I am still at this point.

Oh, I got my blood work back. Low iron apparently. Probably because I donate. But she said not enough to make me this tired all the time. So hopefully the meds will help with that. I should also add, that I won't be taking painkillers anymore. I never EVER want to go through what I did EVER again. Honestly, Friday I just laid in bed freezing with the heating blanket on high and four other blankets on. Didn't sleep, I couldn't. Just laid there...It was AWFUL. I will deal with my pain...and...I don't know...Figure it out. I had a very bad night Monday night. It was hard, but I cried, and breathed and powered through it...So we'll see how this goes...

Codeine Withdrawal?

Okay, so I'm having one of the worst days of my life today. I started my new medication last night...Here's the list of side effects...Contact your doctor if you experience these side effects and they are severe or bothersome.

Your pharmacist may be able to advise you on managing side effects.

* abdominal pain
* agitation
* anxiety
* diarrhea
* dizziness
* drowsiness
* dry mouth
* fatigue
* fever
* heartburn
* increased sweating
* increased yawning
* loss of appetite
* nausea
* painful periods
* sexual difficulties
* shakiness
* sore throat
* stuffy or runny nose
* trouble sleeping
* vomiting

Although most of the side effects listed below don't happen very often, they could lead to serious problems if you do not check with your doctor or seek medical attention.

Check with your doctor as soon as possible if any of the following side effects occur:

* behaviour similar to drunkenness
* bleeding gums
* blurred vision
* confusion
* dizziness or fainting
* increase in frequency of urination or amount of urine produced, or trouble holding or releasing urine
* irregular heartbeat
* lack of emotion
* loss of memory
* menstrual changes
* mood or mental changes
* nervousness
* nosebleed
* purple or red spots on skin
* severe agitation
* severe migraine
* skin rash or itching
* slow or irregular heartbeat (less than 50 beats per minute)
* sore throat, fever, and chills
* trouble breathing
* unusual or sudden body or facial movements or postures

So, after I took it I started to get very antsy, I was nervous and scared, my stomach was killing me, and I just wanted to sleep...I came into the bedroom and tried to get some sleep, I didn't actually get to bed until around 2 or 3am, I'm not really sure. But this morning I woke up with the worst migrane I've ever had in my life...Like, 15/10 on the pain scale. I could barely open my eyes. My neck muscles were so sore and I was shaking like a leaf. At first I assumed that It was from my new medication. I had spoken with my doctor and she had mentioned that it might be withdrawal symptoms from my codeine...I haven't taken any in two days because my doctor is gone so I didn't have any. So, here are the symptoms of codeine withdrawal;

# Runny nose
# Sweating
# Twitching muscles
# Muscle pain
# Headache
# Irregular heartbeat
# Nausea
# Vomiting
# High blood pressure
# Fever
# Insomnia
# Dehydration
# Yawning
# Weakness
# Stomach cramps

I'm not really sure what's what...If its withdrawal what do I do? Stop taking pain meds? I don't feel bad not being on them...At least not mentally, aside from the pain I don't feel like I need them at all. But my nose has been running like crazy, I've been nauseous as hell, I can't sleep, I've been getting stomach cramps, my neck muscles were twitching like crazy this morning, and it would explain the muscle pain and headaches..I feel SO bad...I've pretty much been laying in bed all day under my heating blanket because I've been freezing. My head has been throbbing all day, I still have no pain meds, and I've taken 8 Advil today...Recommended dose is 6 in a 24 hour period... I'm going to lay back down...I'm having trouble concentrating and even thinking at all...

So, I just had a meltdown/anxiety attack...Awesome...And I'm supposed to be babysitting, so my ride is going to be here in like 2 minutes. Even more awesome...I have been having a lot of trouble with my anxiety and stress...It's been building and building, and I guess that today was the last straw...I just cried and cried and am about to cry now just even talking about it...and not that sweet girly one tear shed...I'm talking fluids pouring out of every orifice...Hot. I'm going to be speaking to one of my doctors tomorrow about possibly getting on some medication for it.. My head is pounding and I feel like shit...You know how every once in a while you have to just have a good cry? And then after you feel better? Oh no, not this time. I STILL feel like shit...I honestly don't even know what to say about it..

What Is Whiplash?

Alright, so this post I guess is to explain a little bit of what I'm dealing with...A few of the conditions, and the issues that I've had since my accident...

I think that one of the major issues that I've had has been 'whiplash'

Whiplash

Pain in the neck, shoulders, head or the base of the skull that occurs after a motor vehicle accident is often called “whiplash.” Most patients with whiplash recover in a few weeks or at most, a few months, but 15 to 20% of people (I am in that 15-20 percentile) develop chronic pain. Whiplash is not a trivial problem, because once it has occurred, only 70% have recovered completely by one year and only 82% have recovered completely by two years. (Now, I know that seems like a lot, because when I first read it I thought it was too...but when you are in that 18% that didn't get better...18% seems pretty big.)

In addition to neck pain, there are many symptoms associated with the whiplash syndrome and include sleep problems, poor concentration and memory, blurry vision, ringing in the ears, fatigue, and weakness. (All of these symptoms have been a regular part of my life for almost 3 years now)

Whiplash: The causes of the pain

It is the patient with persistent pain without any other specific findings on examination or specialized tests that presents the most problems for the patient himself or herself, the doctors, and the legal system. (Which I have had one hell of a time with)In the first few weeks to months after motor vehicle accident, it is often impossible to determine the exact cause or causes of the pain. The symptoms and signs are not sufficiently specific. In almost every instance, the muscles and ligaments have been strained and may be inflamed, painful, and tender. However after about 3 months, primary muscle or other soft tissue injuries usually have healed.

The most common causes of persistent pain in whiplash are the facet joints and the discs. There is a poor correlation between the radiographic appearance of the joints and whether they are painful. Some joints which look bad are painless while other joints that look normal can be proven to be a source of pain. (Isn't that a bitch?) Only facet injections can determine whether the joint is painful. (I have just had two facet joint injections and I felt better for a short span of time, but apparently I am one of those people that the injections don't go well with...It works for a few weeks, a month if I'm really lucky and then that's it...Over)

In a research study by Drs. Bogduk and Aprill, in 23% of patients, facet joints alone were the cause of pain, in 20% of patients the discs alone were the cause of pain, and in 41% of patients both the facet joints and discs were contributing. They were not able to identify the source of the pain in only 17% of their patients.

Whiplash: Associated symptoms
Many whiplash patients have symptoms which seem unexplainable, such as headaches (check), pain in the shoulders (double check), between the shoulder blades(triple check), or in one or both arms (I don't have pain in my arms often, but when I do...Man it's there with a vengeance).

There may be fatigue(check), dizziness(check), problems with vision(I really couldn't tell you..I'm blind as a bat), ringing in the ears(check), heaviness in the arms, and low back pain(check). There can be poor concentration or memory(check), change in emotions with irritability(SUPER check), depression or short temper(check), and sleep disturbance(A zillion times, check).

Dizziness occurs in one-quarter to one-half of people with whiplash injury. Again, researchers are not sure of the cause. The most likely explanation is an injury to the part of the inner ear that regulates balance. Problems with memory and concentration can be due to the pain itself, depression, medications, or trauma to the brain. Visual disturbances occur in 10 to 30% of whiplash patients and blurred vision is the most common.


Whiplash: Long-term Outcome
Fortunately, most people who suffer neck pain after a whiplash injury will recover by six months. However, a small percentage of people continue to have pain.

Most patients destined to recover completely will have done so by three to four months(Well, I'm screwed), after which the rate of recovery slows markedly. By two years, essentially all patients have reached their individual maximum improvement.(NOt what I like to hear, as I am about 2 months away from it being three years) About 18% continued to have significant pain two years after the accident! (That's me!) Patients who did not get well tended to be older(Nope), had pain which began sooner after the accident (my pain began the day of the accident..), and/or had their head rotated to either side at the time of impact. They also found that patients who, before the accident, had a history of neck pain, arthritis of the neck, or headaches did not do as well(Nope).

Okay, another one of the things that has been hell the last three years...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

I would like to start off by saying that I am a 21 year old female....That doesn't drive. I am a 21 year old female that has difficulty BEING in a vehicle...My accident was on a Sunday afternoon...Coincidentally, the week before, I had been studying for my learners test, and planned on taking the test the following Monday.

Common PTSD effects include extreme fear, depression, and anxiety.

Symptoms of PTSD
PTSD symptoms are numerous and can sometimes be confused with other mental ailments. It is important not to hide your symptoms or deny them in any way, as this can interfere with diagnosis. There are three categories of symptoms associated with the disorder: intrusion, avoidance, and hyperarousal symptoms.

Intrusion: Intrusion symptoms arrive suddenly and occur when memories of the past event invade your current life. The most common intrusion symptom is the flashback. Flashbacks are vivid memories that can be triggered by sights, smells, or sounds, and cause you to relive the traumatic experience over and over again. These flashbacks can seem very real and are often detailed and filled with emotion. Another intrusion symptom is the nightmare, which can occur unexpectedly, causing extreme anxiety and fear.

Avoidance: Avoidance symptoms describe a sufferer's unconscious attempts to prevent remembering anything to do with the traumatic event. These signs of post-traumatic stress disorder often interfere with family relationships, marriages, and careers. You may avoid being with family and friends in order to hide your illness. You may experience an overall feeling of numbness. You may alternate between feelings of intense emotion and simply no emotion at all. Consciously and unconsciously you will avoid reminders of the traumatic events in order to escape flashbacks. Depression is often an avoidance symptom.

Hyperarousal: Hyperarousal symptoms are the result of stimulated nerves and hormones. You may experience severe insomnia, trouble remembering the entire traumatic event, and difficulty concentrating. You may experience irritability or explosions of emotion for no apparent reason and more frequent startling responses.

Physical symptoms are often part of the PTSD syndrome, as well. Headaches, stomach problems, dizziness, and chest pain are all commonly experienced by sufferers of the disorder. You may also experience nausea, diarrhea, skin problems, rapid heart beat, and high blood pressure.


Well, I'm just trying to educate people a little bit :) And that's all I have for now. I'm about to pass out from pain...And if you read my previous blog post...You understand that I am in quite the predicament.

Creepy

Alright, so my dad got a job yesterday, and Mr. M was at work...I was in a lot of pain and exhausted, so I laid down for a nap...I had the most terrifying experience of my life when I 'woke up' ...I could not move, or open my eyes...I had the strangest feeling that someone was in the house with me, even though I was very aware I was alone. I even kept hearing someone snoring...I kept drifting in and out because I knew I was still tired, but every time I tried to fall back asleep I was too scared. I just barely could open my eyes and I kept on seeing things moving...Now I have two cats, but in this state, I just couldn't think straight...It was awful...I woke up at three...Its now 4:30 and I STILL feel freaked out...Anyways, I looked it up and I think it's called 'Sleep paralysis' Its happened to me once before, but I was driving back from Edmonton with Mr. M, so I don't know...It wasn't as bad? I just felt like my body and mind were fighting...Like, my brain wanted me to wake up, but my body and muscles wouldn't let me...

Here's a little bit about it..

Sleep paralysis occurs either when falling asleep, or when awakening. When it occurs upon falling asleep, the person remains aware while the body shuts down for REM sleep, and it is called hypnagogic or predormital sleep paralysis. When it occurs upon awakening, the person becomes aware before the REM cycle is complete, and it is called hypnopompic or postdormital. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes "by which the individual may experience panic symptoms"

In addition, the paralysis may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger.[9] Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vividness of such hallucinations.[8] The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful or dream-like objects may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision.

Some people with disrupted sleep schedules or circadian rhythm disturbances experience sleep paralysis

A study found that 35% of subjects with isolated sleep paralysis also reported a history of wake panic attacks unrelated to the experience of paralysis

Sixteen percent of these persons with isolated sleep paralysis met the criteria for panic disorder

So, a lot of those things are true...Right after my car accident I used to wake up from panic attacks a lot...I also have PTSD...It also said that one of the common reasons is just a ton of stress...Which I have had...So, I see my doctor on Thursday, I guess I will speak with her about it then...

As far as my body goes things have been pretty up and down...I think I'm heading down again...I was in so much pain this morning I was having trouble breathing. Not good...I was doing quite well after my two facet joint injections, but yet again...after only a few weeks my pain is just coming back. I think that we'll probably go through with the MRI, I am quite sad though because he has informed me that if these injections didn't work that I needed a new doctor...and when I laughed, assuming that he was just being hard on himself, he told me that he was very serious and that we would have to get me looked at elsewhere. *sigh* I guess we'll just have to see what the MRI says...

I also have a dilemma...I have no painkillers and my doctor that gives me my prescription isn't in until the 24th. Fml. I have TWO left. That will most likely not even get me through today...Crap on a cracker...I'm so tired...I only got to nap for like a half hour before that awful incident...Maybe I'll try again...Or not..Because I am legitimately terrified by that experience.